There is a reason that some of us folk in the 2SLGBTQIA+ refer to ourselves as being part of the “Alphabet Army” and the best one I can think of is that it’s an open and welcoming party/gaggle/contingent of people who make a conscious space for every colour and shade under the rainbow.
What does 2SLGBTQ+ stand for?
Sexual orientations and gender identities that aren’t heterosexual or cisgender are often described by the acronym 2SLGBTQ+ (or a variation of this acronym). 2SLGBTQ+ stands for:
2S – Two-Spirit (or 2 Spirit or 2S): an important term within some Indigenous cultures and for some Indigenous people, meaning a person with both a feminine and a masculine spirit living in the same body. This is often used to describe sexual orientation, gender identity and / or spiritual identity.
L – Lesbian: a person who identifies as a woman who is physically, sexually, romantically and / or emotionally attracted to other women and who identifies as lesbian.
G – Gay: a person who identifies as a man who is physically, sexually, romantically and / or emotionally attracted to other men and who identifies as gay. Gay is also used as a broad term to describe people attracted to someone of the same gender.
B – Bisexual / Bi: a person who is physically, sexually, romantically and / or emotionally attracted to people of their own and other genders and who identifies as bisexual (bi). Some people may prefer bi+ to honour their attraction to more than one gender.
T – Transgender / Trans: a term often used by people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. People whose gender identity falls outside of the gender binary (the idea that there are only two genders — man and woman) may also call themselves trans. It’s up to each individual to choose how they want to identify (in other words, no one else can decide if / when a person is or isn’t trans). Other terms to describe gender identity that may be used by some people include genderqueer, gender fluid, gender non-conforming, non-binary and androgynous.
Trans is not a sexual orientation — it’s a gender identity. “T” (for transgender / trans) is grouped with the sexual orientations in the 2SLGBTQ+ acronym for many reasons, including shared civil and human rights activism and similar experiences of discrimination.
Q – Queer: a broad term that includes all sexual orientations and gender identities within the 2SLGBTQ+ community, including those who don’t identify with any other identity in the 2SLGBTQ+ acronym. The term queer can be both positive and negative. Historically, queer was used as an insult, but it has been reclaimed by some folks in the 2SLGBTQ+ community to self-identify in a more positive and empowering way.
Q – Questioning: some people may feel unsure about their sexual orientation and / or gender identity and describe themselves as questioning. They may be questioning for a period of time, or continue to be questioning throughout their lives.
+ (Plus): a way to include additional sexual orientations and gender identities under the 2SLGBTQ+ umbrella. For some, the plus stands for love and acceptance.
Lately, in my news feed and in conversations there has been a lot of talk about gender and sexuality - specifically surrounding women, people who identify as women and the gender discussion surrounding minors aka children.
Possibly this has become prominent in my algorithm because of the never ending bombardment of US politics and talking points from those who would banish the rainbow and evict everyone sheltered by it, but I’m going to get into my thoughts and opinions about these discussions and talking points from the perspective of a gay lady who considers herself a Trans-ally and a generally grounded human.
Am I perfect? Hell no. Have I ever said something I later regretted? Absolutely. So please don't read this opinion as one coming down from the mouth of moral superiority. I have faults and flaws and I can admit them and remember when I have harmed or hurt another - but I'm trying my best to be better and I hope you'll join me in that journey.
Firstly, this is a serious topic. With mounting discussion comes increased focus on the Trans community which has also brought with it all the hate and violence and vitriol. This is not okay and has never been okay.
"But Christine! I haven't seen anything and I'm not Trans so this doesn't have anything to do with me!"
Perhaps it hasn't come up on your radar or you think it doesn't "involve you" or have anything to do with you. But it does, and wouldn't it be better to be knowledgeable about a situation rather than dismissive?
From jokes about gender neutral bathrooms to statements like "what is a woman?" I guarantee you'll be hearing something at some point that will morph into the type of divisive and ugly rhetoric that nobody should be the target of.
So, lets talk about this. What is gender?
Gender alone is a noun, but in talking about trans people we are talking about gender identity and for a dictionary definition I turned to Merriam-Webster-:
Gender Identity - noun : a person's internal sense of being male, female, some combination of male and female, or neither male nor female Facebook provides more than 50 options beyond "male" and "female" for users to describe their gender identity, from "gender questioning" and "neither" to "androgynous."
Gender can encompass the characteristics of women, men, girls and boys that we use as part of our social construct. In grade school you may remember (some of us are older than others) referring to your teachers as Mr. or Miss. or Mrs. So&So. As a society we've had gender baked into us from a very early age and for as long as anyone can remember. It's been burned into our collective conscious and has been a way for society and the people in it to sift and sort each other.
Not being able to sift or sort others, can be disorienting and uncomfortable. But that's no excuse not to try understanding and giving someone dignity. Dignity is not earned, it's due to each of us.
As I've stated before, I'm not Trans, but I am an ally. I have been mis-gendered in the past and it was not a great feeling. When I was in grade three I asked a hairdresser to cut my hair short because I was tired of french braids, I was tired of ponytails, I was tired of my hair. So, we did it!
The second the first strand of hair hit the floor, I cried.
There was no going back though and that was it. Not long later, about a month into summer vacation someone had come to our house. I don't know why she was there or who she was but she seemed to know my parents. As she was in the mudroom about to leave when my brother and I came around the corner and she said; "How are you BOYS enjoying your summer!?"
I was mortified.
I ran to my room and cried. How could she not see and know I was a girl?! I felt very strongly to my core that I was a girl. But I'm also stubborn and I won't bend myself to fit into someone else's idea of what a girl or a woman should look like, and nobody else should have to bend themselves either. Trans people are people, they know who they are and should be allowed to present to others how they feel. Being misgendered doesn't feel good. It didn't feel any better 30 years later
when I went with my dad to buy a fishing license and the woman at the counter marked "M" for male in the gender box, or 3 years ago when the staff at the Canadian Tire said "He needs help carrying that to the car..."
I'm sure most of these were not intended maliciously, but how could dignity be maintained without making a big fuss about it?
Do we know why is there a box for gender on a fishing license? Doesn't seem relevant to fishing.
To be honest, I think the gender boxes are actually where the idea of grooming comes in. As a society, we are constantly being subtly forced into conforming into boxes. Perhaps, we could just get rid of boxes. If the boxes didn't exist - there would be no need to categorize or sift people. What are the things that are attached to these boxes and do they have any value in modern society?
Or are they used to keep divisions.
We have a multitude of ways of identifying people - fingerprints, DNA, there are ways that we could remove gender sifting from everything and allow people the ability to simply present themselves in a way that aligns with how they feel internally. We could use each other's names - we could stop treating people as others.
The attack on female bodily autonomy south of us has been sickening to say the least. It has also taken direct aim at trans-people and their ability to have bodily autonomy.
In 2021 Transrespect versus Transphobia or "TvT" reported that 375 transgender people had been murdered world wide. Of those 96% of those were trans women or transfeminine. The author of the Report for 2021 states, "These numbers are just a small glimpse of the reality on the ground," ... "The majority of the data was collected from countries with an established network of trans and LGBTIQ organizations that conduct the monitoring. In most countries, data is not systematically collected. Most cases continue to go unreported and, when reported, receive very little attention." - via Forbes.com
Words lead to actions, and some folk believe that they should have the right to stamp out anyone that doesn't fit into their acceptable boxes. I don't think that we should be silent in protecting each other from violence and violent rhetoric based on gender, sexuality or religion. That means, being supportive of each individual's rights.
You want to be an atheist, I got your back. You want to spend time practicing your religion, I got you too - you want to be free to express your gender how you want - I'm here for it. You love your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Love is amazing and I'm happy for you!
What do all of these things have in common? They are things that belong to individuals, some choices, some not - that should not affect or involve anyone but the individual.
If you want to support trans people, start first by treating them as people. Learn their name and if you're really serious, ask them their pronouns, and practice using they/them pronouns. Pronouns are easier to use than you think, I would love to see they/them used for everyone. If anyone of the people who misgendered me had said "They need help with this..." I would have been completely happy with that - wouldn't you?
And if you think that this is just all "Woke" B.S. - I have a thought for you. Being kind, trying to help others feel accepted isn't a lame or fake thing. If you've never experienced being an "other" or an outsider or the innocent target of someone else's ire, then I'm happy for you, but I suspect that you're circles are very closed and you hear a lot of echos. The world is a big place and I invite you to step outside of your comfort zone, you may find that people in a lot of ways aren't very different. We all want love, friendship, kindness, support, purpose and comfort. Recognizing that the way something has been done in the past wasn't great for everyone isn't a bad thing, it's recognizing we can do better by one another.
Words matter. People matter. Trans people matter. You're invited to join the rainbow exactly as you are. Be a welcome soul in the alphabet army.
All the loves to you where ever you are this Tuesday.
Christine